For Your Pleasure

Bedroom Empowerment

"Nowadays, some business women are eschewing the book club and wine bar for another girls-only gathering: the sex toy party. Modeled after the traditional Tupperware party, these increasingly popular events give career women the chance to relax and buy items like lubricants and performance-enhancers in the privacy of someone's home..." -Pink Magazine, July/August 2008

It's all true. Go to a party, host a party or even start selling toys yourself... One of the great things about home parties is that they offer women a safe environment to explore the toys and tools on the market. And a chance to have honest dialog with friends about sex. To me this is a beautiful, grassroots movement. Run by women and supported by women (and some extraordinary men.) Traditionally women have been so isolated when it comes to sex. With a home party a woman can whip up a mini-movement with in her own peer group and say, "Sex is good for you. Come over to my house. We are going to have some laughs, talk about sex and make sexuality the easy going, breath of fresh air it is supposed to be!" Suddenly you've planted a little seed within your friends. Even if they don't come to the party, you have them thinking about sex. People who have not been to a good sex toy home party don't understand the power they hold. They may have misconstrued ideas that this is all about selling sex toys. In my eyes, the sex toys support the movement. Buying products means that woman at the front of the room can continue her heart-felt mission. Making sexual empowerment accessible to everyone. Especially women.

How do you keep romance alive?

My friend Celeste is doing a Youtube video contest and the winner will be awarded a Naughty Nights $250 gift basket! If you have a video camera and a good idea on how to inspire more sparks in a long term relationship - you should totally send in a clip! There are second place and third place prizes as well - so your chances of winning are good! Here are the rules. And this is the Youtube Group where you post your entry.

Like I said, I know Celeste and she is for real and super sweet. I swear she has voice that is exactly like talking to Janet Jackson. I love that! She is a Sex Educator & Toy Party person in the Baltimore area. If you live around there, I would highly recommend having her do a party for you and your friends!

Sex, Books, Moms (Yes, they all go together at times.)

I was checking out the sex books at the Barnes & Noble Bookstore in my neighborhood. And it’s crazy because as I walked up to the TWO shelves of sexuality books, there were women huddled around it having a conversation. I don’t think I have ever been to that section and not found women camped out around it. You would think they would stock a few more titles and cater to the demand?

I listened in as one woman was saying how she couldn’t wear thigh high stockings because they cut into her thigh meat. Or they are just too long. She was a cute, short, thick, beautiful Latina woman. With a figure not that different from mine. I had to jump in, “Oh get the long stockings! Wear them up to the tops of your thighs, they’ll make your legs look longer.”

And her friend protested, “But what about the straps?”

She was asking about the garter belts and how they are always like, 12 inches long and you’re lucky if they are adjustable. I said, “Sew ‘em. Shorten them up to meet the tops of your thighs. It takes like two minutes. You’ll be smoking’ hot! And get stockings with back seams if you can because they also add to the illusion of height.”

And I continued to rain down on them with bits of advice. I swear I felt like a fairy godmother. There they stood in front of a wealth of sex books, asking each other questions and I just appeared with all the answers!

But then, because the bookstore had not one of my books in stock all I could do is hand them business cards with my book title so they could special order it.

Poor Barnes & Noble is so off kilter in their buying habits. And not just in the sex department. I walked up to the Mother’s Day display and found nothing but housekeeping and cook books on display. I just about barfed on the table. Oh and they had a few hokey, flowery poetry books as well.

I could not help but think of all the mothers I know. They are all consuming business and marketing books; books about how to take over the universe. And not those dumbed down “Women’s Guide to Whatever” books – but the classic business books that were read by the CEO of billion dollar businesses. You’ll find them reading books about sex, history and psychology. I can’t image a one of them buying a book on how to clean her house. She’s more likely to buy a book on how to delegate cleaning chores!

Sure, the moms in my life may have read a few books on what to feed a new born and a  volume on child psychology… but who needs a fucking book on how to clean your house? How about a book on how to PAY OFF your house instead?

The mothers in my life have built businesses and miraculously manage to care for oodles of people in their lives. They are strong, resilient, multitaskers by force of their position in life. They are seekers of health, wellness and balance. For themselves and for the people around them. Being a mother does not define them. It is one cherished element of many factors that make them full, complete, beautiful individuals.

So while I was there I moved the housekeeping books over to the Father’s Day display table. There was plenty of room in over there with all the dumb humor and golfing books.

And while I’m here, 

Dear Washing Machine Manufacturers, Dish Soap Companies, and Vacuum Cleaner Companies,

Please note that lots of individuals of every gender buy and use your equipment. If you keep running commercials featuring only the faces of females, we may stop buying your crap all together. If I see another freaking joyful female face pimping the glee she feels at cleaning her man’s muddy T-shirt I think I’ll die. Fuck you.

Love,

Ducky DooLittle

Back to Mother’s Day… If you are lucky enough to still have your mom around, buy her something that will really appeals to her. Better yet, get her a gift certificate so she can use her own big, independent brain to find something she will really love. Something that will enhance her full, complete life - that does not revolve around you. The life she began to regain the day she got you to pee in a toilet. And include a little note saying something sweet like, “Thanks for teaching me to pee in a toilet.” Because mothers don’t get thanked enough.

P.S. They have yet to ban me from the bookstore!

ASK DUCKY: How did you get into this business? Did you take classes to become an expert?

I really shy away from calling myself an expert, I would say I am a sex educator. I do know a lot more about sex than your average person, but the word expert really does not suit my ideas of what I do for a living. On the other hand I consider sex education to be a practice; an ongoing processes of continuous learning and growing. Anyway, I have worked in the field of sex, in many capacities, for nearly two decades. I have taken many classes, workshops, and seminars. I have built education programs for multiple stores and institutions. I have trained retailing staffs and taught at med schools. Ultimately the best education I have received has been because I interact with thousands of individuals of every age, gender and orientation each year. And I maintain beautiful relationships with other sex educators so we can continue to inspire each other.

For more detailed information you can read my bio on my website. If you want to get into the nitty gritty details you should read my book.

If you are asking because you are looking to become a sex educator, you may want to read my trade publication entitled Inspired Sales. In this little book I go into details and give advice on how you can develop your career as a sex educator.

ASK DUCKY: Can I use the video on the main site?

I really love this new awesome website. Adding videos for recruiting and hosting parties on our websites would be so COOL. Can we do that? Thanks, Lara

Hi Lara. Based on your request I added the FYP on TV video to YouTube. Click here to access it. Now you can embed it onto your website, blogs, myspace or any other page you use to promote your For Your Pleasure business. Just follow this link to get the embedding codes. xoxo - Ducky

P.S. Here's what it look like...

Who sells sex toys?

There are some very cool people who have worked hard to revolutionize the sex toy industry over the last two decades - including designers, distributors, sales people, sex educators and demanding consumers (bless your hearts!). In my short lifetime I have seen the materials and designs gain in creativity and quality. One sex educator and sales person who has impressed me with her commitment to understand and share the joy of quality products and how better sex toys impact our sexual wellness is Dana Corey of Portland, Oregon. This mini-interview is part one of an ongoing series of interviews with individuals who sell sex toys and what makes them special.

DUCKY: What’s the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?

DANA: Check my email for anything that needs immediate attention. Then coffee and driving the kids to school.

Your favorite book?

Just one? On my bed stand right now: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (one of my all-time favorite authors), Ahab's Wife (my monthly book group selection), Raising Financially Fit Kids (trying to be a good parent), Portland Monthly Magazine (Have I mentioned that I LOVE Portland) and Marketing that Matters (I'm business obsessed).

I know you must meet hundreds upon hundreds of people over the course of a year. What do you love about the people who book toy parties with you?

While each and every one is different, they all get the importance of having ownership and responsibility for their own satisfaction. Also, they're all a blast.

How has selling toys helped you?

It's less about selling toys, more about empowering people. I have really grown in inspiring others to take control over their lives, to turn their dreams into reality. I feel so honored to be invited to mentor the women on my team and to share in their successes.  Also, being a For Your Pleasure rep has given me the financial freedom to pursue my dreams - to travel with my husband, to allow him to privilege to quit his job and work with me so we can be together, to be able to pay for my kids to be involved in the programs that fuel their love of learning and growing.

You are so right. It's about so much more than selling. It's about connecting with people. Toys are just a great tool for making that happen. Where will you take your business in 2008? Goals?

My team of Naughty Nymphettes are going to do 1 million in sales in 2008, I will be a Managing National Director, and personally I will do $100,000 in sales and recruit 24 first line recruits.

Holy smokes! Those are some serious goals. And I don't doubt you'll make all that happen. What is your absolute favorite product in your line?

System Jo Silicone Lube

Please fill in the end of these sentence. I admire…

…my  children. They each are unique and comfortable in their own skin.

Wow. That alone is a revolution. Cheers to more young people growing up feeling more comfortable in their skin! Dana ~ you are wonderful.