Hey Ducky. I'm a sex educator with For Your Pleasure. I met you when you came to Chicago last year. I am so glad to see that FYP has started this ASK DUCKY blog!
Here’s my questions: I love a good silicone lube but I was watching a sex how-to DVD yesterday where they stated that women should NEVER use a silicone based lube inside the vagina because it could cause vaginal infections. I don't want to promote products for women if they will have bad effects on them. I know they can be used for anal, water play... but I'm just wondering if they are safe for women to use or not. If this is true for just certain brands, how can you tell?
This sounds to me like an opinion and not rooted in statistical fact. I have never, in the seven years I have been selling or using silicone lube, heard of anyone getting a vaginal infection from the lube.
Personally I LOVE silicone lube. It’s great for any skin on skin contact (massage, hands on genital play) and for internal play. I also like it because it has no taste or smell. I love it because it has no glycerin so it does not get sticky and coagulate like most water-based lubes, so a little bit goes a long way and you don’t need to stop to apply more lube. Because it is not sticky, I don’t feel like I need a shower immediately after sex play. It has no alcohol like some other lubes. I am so sensitive and allergic to so many skin product additives that the tingly feeling of alcohol will leave me feeling like I am having an allergic reaction even when I am not. I am a woman who has tried almost every lube on the market and FOR ME - none of them stand up to silicone lube.
On the contrary I have heard some women say they did not like the way it felt, that that felt like it took days to rinse out of their vagina or that they felt a need to use soap on their vulva to rinse it away. But again, I have never heard someone say silicone lube inspired an infection.
Ultimately, lube is a personal product. It’s up to the individual to explore the many options and find the right one for her body. She can take advice from you. She can take advice from her best friend. But like any personal product (i.e. body lotion, face cleanser, soaps, shampoos…) the one that her best friend swears by may not work well for her at all. I always recommend a person buy the smallest bottle of any lube and try it out. If she loves it, she can upgrade to a larger bottle down the road. If she hates it, she knows that may be a reality and that she needs to keep exploring.
She will also want to get her partner’s opinion. If she gets a new partner at some point, she may need to change lubes to accommodate their needs.
As a sales person and sex educator it is vital that you have an open tester bottle for your customers to examine. Put a sticker on the bottle that says: TESTER. SO they know they can pick it up and try it. Inspire them to put a drop on their finger. Feel it. Smell it. Taste it. Read the label. Let them know that choosing a lube is an individual choice. They need to be an informed consumer and listen to their own body’s response to any personal product, including the lubrication they use.
As for infections, studies have shown that using lube is an important part of staying healthy. Lube cuts down on friction. Friction during sex play can lead to microscopic burns or tears in the vaginal wall. Leaving a woman more vulnerable to bacterial or viral infections. Including sexually transmitted diseases/infections (STIs) or any bacteria that may be present on her hands or her partner’s hands. For this reason I would never hesitate in encouraging your customers to use lube. Silicone or water based. Her choice.
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