My husband has a very bad back and has had 3 major back surgeries. Can you give me some suggestions for positions that will not be so strenuous on his back?

I think it’s so cool that you that the two of you are looking for ways to bond despite the trouble he has had with his body. The truth is that our bodies do not always work well but we still need to keep our relationships alive and growing.

Here’s the deal, back pain or no back pain, we ALL seem to put ourselves in positions that do not well support our bodies. A good sexual position is one that you can maintain comfortably and for an extended period of time. Because I do not know the exact nature of his injury (and I know a lot of people with various injuries will read this), I’m going to give you a few ideas and I hope the two of you will explore which ones that will work for him. And please be sure to check with his doctor about what kind of movements are appropriate for his body and respect those limitations above all else.

1) A super fun way of making new positions and flirty, interactive affair? Get deck of Ancient Chinese Sexual Positions Cards. Leave them on his pillow with a note saying, “Pick the cards that will feel good for your body and I’m game!” He may pick two or three cards today. Pull the deck out in three months, after he’s healed a bit, and he may pick a totally new set of cards!

2) Use this opportunity to explore other sensual acts that will be easy on his body. You could take turns playing “Queen for a Day” or “King for a Day,” where one of you totally pampers the other. Inspiring this kind of generosity in your sex play can do amazing things for your sex life.

Get some fancy bubble bath, a vibrating bath sponge and have some relaxing fun in the tub. Or a massage can be a wonderful way to have extended sex play with out the pressure on his body. For body massages try a massage candle. The candle wax melts at a very low temperature so you can pour a little bit on your bodies and work it into the skin while relaxing the muscles. You get ambiance and luscious warm massage oil at the same time! I also love the Sweet Almond Massage Oil and the Hot Heart Massager. For genital massages, go for a lube that is good for both skin-on-skin contact but also safe to use inside your body – like Infinity.

3) If this looks right for his body, invest in a Swing. Adjust the height of the swing to line your body up with his so he can stand in positions that deliver no pressure on his back. Or your could adjust the swing so it’s low to the floor so he could lay down, letting the swing hold your body weight while you bounce you way to orgasms. You may want to get the swing stand so you don’t have to worry about finding a beam in the ceiling and all the anchoring hardware that goes with it. This way you can collapse the whole thing and hide it in your closet when you in-laws come over!

And, although I have not yet tried it, the inflatable Cupids Couch also looks like a fun item for limitless position possibilities. Here’s a little video of it.

If some of these things are out of your price range or not for you, simply gather up some pillows of various shaes and sizes that you can use to prop up his body or lift your body into positions that make it easier on his body. Pillows made of memory foam will be especially useful, if you cover them with a waterproof pillowcase or towel that you can drop in the wash, even better. Get into position, move slowly and tuck pillows in around him as needed. Watch his body language and look for signed of distress in his alignment, motions or breathing and respond be adjusting your position. Try to be patient because the better the two of you care for his body today, the faster he will heal.

For Your Pleasure also has a program where, if you host a party for you and your friends, you get free stuff. The more people you invite, the more stuff you get. So if you have fun and flirty friends who would be inspired to help you earn a free Love Swing – host a party!

More: Sex and Back Pain on About.com

Comments

[Linda]

hi my question is my husband is a some what large man and i am a some what large my self . i want to know is there another way to get on top of him it seem that i can not get my legs over him. can you help me?

[Linda]

i also want to if there is a sex school in Chicago that we can go to .