Halloween is upon us and what a great excuse to try something new! My friend and fellow sex educator, Cory Silverberg just wrote this entertaining and spot-on blog about how sexy this holiday can be:
As adults, the freedom to be someone/something else, to turn everything upside down for just one night, can provide an excuse to explore parts of our sexuality we may otherwise not let ourselves bring out in to the open. In this way, Halloween can be a sexual motivator and instigator.
You can read the whole piece here. And please keep in mind that you can do this any day of the year! Some cute outfits to motivate you and your mate?
And don't forget - sexy Alligator Man!
Cory's blog on About.com is one of the few that really captures me. It's packed full of fun, thoughtful and inspiring articles. Plus he's Canadian so every time he says "about.com" it sounds like "a-boat-dot-com". That is just too cute! These are my current favorites...
TOP 12 SEXULAITY.ABOUT.COM POSTS
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It’s round. (A beautiful shape if I do say so myself.) The Tuyo fits perfectly in my hand – a little smaller than a baseball perhaps. But gorgeous - shiny, black and refined. Made of hard plastic, with a wide strip of silicone and seams of stainless steel. A simple push button will drive you through eight different speeds and pulsations. A perfect example of the future of sex toys – but in the here and now! It also comes in a beautiful black box, lined with satin, for storing it away until your next encounter.
Inspired Ideas: It is easy to hold in your hand and press against the clitoral area. Great if you are having penetration with a partner from behind and the female lies on top of it. Perfect for women who like to get on top of her toys (Humpers!) The strip of silicone gives you a non-slip grip. Into cyber sex? Pop this baby between your thighs while you sit at your desk and type way! Also perfectly shaped for deep tissue massage on your back, thighs and other muscular regions.
Specs: $84 Available in black or white with pink stripe. Three-inch diameter. Hard plastic, silicone and stainless steel. No latex, PVC or questionable plastic softening agents. Eight speeds - three graduations of low to high and five pulsating patterns. Three AAA batteries. Use rechargeable batteries and be green.
Clean it: Splash proof, waterproof seal. Wash it under running water with mild soap. Wipe it down with rubbing alcohol as needed. I do not recommend submerging it in water.
All of this is made more exciting by the fact that - if you host a toy party with your friends, you can get the OhMiBod vibe for $29. That's $40 off the retail price. Plus hostesses get tons of other goodies! The more your friends buy - the more you get. And your For Your Pleasure rep has all the tools to help you be a successful hostess. Essentially you are partnering with the presenter and getting paid in product and major discounts. Everybody wins!
According to a study done by New York State University Social Psychologist Arthur Aron, “The key to a successful date night is novelty.” He took 53 couples, split them in to three groups and sent them out on a ten-week mission. Group One was told to take 90 minutes a week and do something together. What ever they wanted. Group Two was told to take 90 minutes a week and go out to dinner and a movie. Group Three was told to do activities they don’t usually do, like concerts, hiking, or dancing. After 10 weeks, Group Three was the only group to express higher levels of martial satisfaction. Even after 10 or more years of marriage, they had responses in the brain that suggest the same intense desire as early romance. What does this study prove? You need to try something new. I’m here to help.
We all know the end of summer is time when gardens and farms are lush and ready to reap. Take advantage of the season by taking your lover to the nearest berry-picking farm or greenmarket for some sunshine and nature. (If you are thinking, “My partner would never do that!” Then that’s all the more reason to go.) Leave your partner a sexy invite that includes, Cleopatra’s Secret VERY BERRY sensation cream or RASPBERRY FEELING Sweet Snow. As you pick your fruits, feed them fresh raspberries with your lips, let the juice run down your face, go home and bake a pie and clean up by taking a bath with EXOTIC FRUIT edible Bath & Shower Gel. It’s a date that is sure to deliver!
"Nowadays, some business women are eschewing the book club and wine bar for another girls-only gathering: the sex toy party. Modeled after the traditional Tupperware party, these increasingly popular events give career women the chance to relax and buy items like lubricants and performance-enhancers in the privacy of someone's home..." -Pink Magazine, July/August 2008 It's all true. Go to a party, host a party or even start selling toys yourself... One of the great things about home parties is that they offer women a safe environment to explore the toys and tools on the market. And a chance to have honest dialog with friends about sex. To me this is a beautiful, grassroots movement. Run by women and supported by women (and some extraordinary men.) Traditionally women have been so isolated when it comes to sex. With a home party a woman can whip up a mini-movement with in her own peer group and say, "Sex is good for you. Come over to my house. We are going to have some laughs, talk about sex and make sexuality the easy going, breath of fresh air it is supposed to be!" Suddenly you've planted a little seed within your friends. Even if they don't come to the party, you have them thinking about sex. People who have not been to a good sex toy home party don't understand the power they hold. They may have misconstrued ideas that this is all about selling sex toys. In my eyes, the sex toys support the movement. Buying products means that woman at the front of the room can continue her heart-felt mission. Making sexual empowerment accessible to everyone. Especially women.
"Nowadays, some business women are eschewing the book club and wine bar for another girls-only gathering: the sex toy party. Modeled after the traditional Tupperware party, these increasingly popular events give career women the chance to relax and buy items like lubricants and performance-enhancers in the privacy of someone's home..." -Pink Magazine, July/August 2008
It's all true. Go to a party, host a party or even start selling toys yourself... One of the great things about home parties is that they offer women a safe environment to explore the toys and tools on the market. And a chance to have honest dialog with friends about sex. To me this is a beautiful, grassroots movement. Run by women and supported by women (and some extraordinary men.) Traditionally women have been so isolated when it comes to sex. With a home party a woman can whip up a mini-movement with in her own peer group and say, "Sex is good for you. Come over to my house. We are going to have some laughs, talk about sex and make sexuality the easy going, breath of fresh air it is supposed to be!" Suddenly you've planted a little seed within your friends. Even if they don't come to the party, you have them thinking about sex. People who have not been to a good sex toy home party don't understand the power they hold. They may have misconstrued ideas that this is all about selling sex toys. In my eyes, the sex toys support the movement. Buying products means that woman at the front of the room can continue her heart-felt mission. Making sexual empowerment accessible to everyone. Especially women.
Whether you like it or not, you are a sexual role model for the young people in your life. Their eager minds seek to understand the world around them. When the issues are not articulated for them, they learn through the subtleties, like body language and watching the interactions of those around them. And even worse, they learn from the Internet, television and through conversations with their friends. If you don’t step and let them know they are safe to ask you anything – you are leaving them in the hands of strangers and a life of learning by way of their own mistakes.
Opened the door and let them know you will not be angry or embarrass them for asking questions. At what age you open this door really depends upon your child. Some kids are very inquisitive at an early age while others just need to know they can ask if the need arises. Remind them every once in a while that they can ask you anything. Sometimes they may be on the edge of a precarious situation or thinking about something they heard and your gentle nudge may remind them that they are not alone.
When are kids having sex? It depends upon the kids. Some kids start very early. Some wait until marriage. Lots of kids have explicit conversations about sex. Studies show that nearly half of all high school aged kids are engaging in sexual activity. Of those who are sexually active, 2/3 have had more than one partner. Good, honest, sweet, smart, wonderful kids will be genuinely interested in exploring sex. Be ready for it.
Another reason you should want to be their main resource is that the world has ways of compartmentalize sex. We do this through subtle attitudes (“boys will be boys”, “women should be hot and look hot but not be too sexual”) and by way of the media (sex sells). And those are just a couple of examples. These ideas do not always coincide with what young people are taught at home and/or their place of worship. It can become very difficult for a young person to understand how sex can affect self-esteem, relationships, and health. If they are taught that only dirty or nasty people have sex, then how do they justify that the same acts can bond a relationship or be the source of a new life? These are complex issues that cannot be over looked.
Part of the problem is that many young people believe the solid definition of sex is intercourse. People (young and old) do not recognize that sex is a way of life, not a particular act. Sex can be the energy exchanged while looking at each other, eating a meal together (with out the TV on) or lying on the lawn and looking at the stars with your lover. But sex does incorporate many acts, like heavy petting, oral sex, intercourse and anal sex. Many young people will have oral sex with multiple partners but still identify as a virgin. (And not understanding that oral sex can leave them vulnerable to STDs.) It’s important for you to help them develop a clear understanding of what sex is and what kinds of behaviors may require safer sex materials and birth control.
Some people are dismayed that schools are or are not teaching sexual health. Some people are upset over the content of what the schools may be teaching. Personally I feel like it would be great f the school could find a curriculum that suited everyone, but realistically I don’t think that is possible. Every family has their own culture, religion, ethics and moral standards. Ultimately it’s always up to you to teach the children in your family.
I highly recommend having an age appropriate sexuality book on your books shelves at home or simply give the books to your kids. These are two books I really recommend. They are both cute, hip, age appropriate books that don't over look how sexuality is inclusive of emotions, relationships, bliss, excitement, fears, anxiety, spirituality, anatomy and lots of other nitty gritty facts and details young people need to know but would never think to ask. Good stuff. Get a set for your home library today!
I am tickled to green-up my sex life! I'm finding that like all eco-friendly products, the better made, higher quality toys tend to be a bit more expensive. But you get what you pay for because they also tend to be the healthiest for you too!
Look for toys that are made of glass, metal, silicone, or hard plastics, as there are fewer chemicals in the manufacturing process. They also have a longer life span, which means you will purchase fewer toys in your lifespan.
Glass is considered the most eco-friendly sex toy product of all. You could even recycle your glass toy with your other glass recyclables. But they are so durable and beautiful I have never heard of anyone ever wanting to get rid of a lovely glass toy! This G Spot Glass Dong is one of my favorites.
Firm silicone toys are the second runner up. The more firm the silicone; the longer it will last. This Love Pacifier is a prime example of a fine silicone toy. (Buy butt toys in darker colors and the always look clean, if you know what I mean?)
The G spotter we call Rock Chic is another firm silicone hit. It vibrates, but the little vibe can be popped out for easy cleaning and you can buy replacement vibes of this style, so you do not need to replace the whole toy. When the time comes you can simply buy a new little motor.
If you love things that vibrate, try investing in rechargeable batteries. Or think about upgrading to a rechargeable toy! They have cord like a cel phone or a stand like an electric toothbrush. When you are ready, pop that sucker off the charger and have fun!
There are lots of rechargeable vibes on the market. But one pictured here is the Phantasy. Inductively rechargeable without a cable, loading station with power supply plug. It’s waterproof too!
Thanks to these peeps for much inspiration and for greening up my own sex life: